Thursday, July 07, 2011

Tweets written by Roald Dahl in Danny the Champion of the World

Excerpt from Danny The Champion of the World, page 105.

"Ours was just a small village school, a squat ugly red-brick building with no upstairs rooms at all. Above the front door was a big grey block of stone cemented into the brickwork, and on the stone it said, THIS SCHOOL WAS ERECTED IN 1902 TO COMMEMORATE THE CORONATION OF HISROYAL HIGHNESS KING EDWARD VII. I must have read that thing a thousand times. Every time I went in the door it hit me in the eye. I suppose that’s what it was there for. But it’s pretty boring to read the same old words over and over again, and

I often thought how nice it would be if they put something different up there every day, something really interesting.

My father would have done it for them beautifully. He could have written it with a bit of chalk on the smooth grey stone and each morning itwould have been something new. He would have said things like,

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE LITTLE YELLOW CLOVER BUTTERFLY OFTEN CARRIES HIS WIFE AROUND ON HIS BACK?

Another time he might have said,

THE GUPPY HAS FUNNY HABITS. WHEN HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GUPPY, HE BITES HER ON THE BOTTOM.

And another time,

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE DEATH’S-HEAD MOTH CAN SQUEAK?

And then again,

BIRDS HAVE ALMOST NOSENSE OF SMELL. BUT THEY HAVE GOOD EYESIGHT AND THEY LOVE RED COLOURS.THE FLOWERS THEY LIKE ARE RED AND YELLOW, BUT NEVER BLUE.

And perhaps another time he would get out his chalk and write,

SOME BEES HAVE TONGUES WHICH THEY CAN UNROLL UNTIL THEY ARE NEARLY TWICE AS LONG AS THE BEE ITSELF. THIS IS TO ALLOW THEM TO GATHER NECTAR FROM FLOWERS THAT HAVE VERY LONG NARROW OPENINGS.

Or he might have written,

I’LL BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT IN SOME BIG ENGLISH COUNTRY HOUSES, THE BUTLER STILL HAS TO IRON THE MORNING NEWSPAPER BEFORE PUTTING IT ON HIS MASTER’S BREAKFAST-TABLE "


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